Written by Nick Hobbs
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Wednesday, 18 November 2009

image for Katie Come On Down, The Price Is Right!
Katie Price today.

Blimp chested media seeking missile Katie Price today caused havoc at the I'm A Non Celebrity base camp.

Ms Price was reportedly embroiled in a heated argument with production officials in a bid to garner yet more money for her already over paid appearence on the (s)hit ITV show. When she was unconditionally told no to her requests, she decided to make a protest in the clearest of ways.

She headed straight for the nearest tree and shinned up it at speed, before anyone could stop her. Hanging from the top of the tree she shouted obscenities at the stewards, some 45 ft below.

After much prompting and discussion, attempts to talk her down had to be abandoned.

Lenny Gruber, 12 time world lasso champion, was standing by with a rope. He managed to lasso her ankle on the third shot and with a mighty tug he pulled her free from the tree. What happened next was unbelievable.

Scientists believe that due to a strange chemical compound mix of breast enlargement fluids, sweat from the climb, thinner air at her altitude and the heat from the sun, caused her breasts to act like helium balloons. Rather than plummet down to the tarpaulin being held by the stewards below, Price merely floated up gently on the breeze.

"Well I just took the strain and held on," said Lenny later on "not many can say they had a real life Jordan balloon."

Price was moored to an earth spike and just floated to and fro in the air. The boffins are hoping that as the sun starts to fade in the Australian bush, so too the heat will diminish and Price's altitude will decrease also, until as dark falls she will be reunited with the soil below.

If they're wrong of course, and the heat drops quickly....

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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