London - (Barking): Council snoopers spying on the Blairs' rubbish recycling are gobsmacked.
Months of covert surveillance of Cherry Bush's garbage activities is about to be posted on the YouBoob! video channel.
The Zaprudder-esque footage shows 'a woman obssessed' with the charismatic and genial Tory Leader of the House of Lords.
"She's been stalking Lord Strathclyde for years now," Westmonster Council head of RIPA (Railroading of Intrusive Powers Act) confirmed today, "we call it headless chicken sinned-Rome.
"Ever since My Noble Lord gave that fetid husband of hers a right bloody nose she's been convinced a secret organization called 'The Thought Police' is after her, heheheh.
"Those tinfoil hair curlers she wears in bed? Supposed to stop nocturnal emissions - er...microwaves! - downloading her phishing expeditions!
"Basically, we think she a basket case!"
There was no comment from the Blairs' Con-Artist Square residence today nor from Lord Strathclyde himself.
However a cleaning lady who once 'did' for previous Tory Lords' leader Lord Cranberry said today "WTF??"
Cryptographers at Westmonster Council's RIPPER division decoded the statement and immediately issued a fixed penalty notice on Baroness Scotland and her minder, codenamed Great Uncle Bulgaria.
Novelist and playwright Georgi Ivanov Markov met an unfortunate death on 11 September 1978 when stumbling on the ricin-poisoned tip of an unknown assailant's umbrella.
He was 69.