Written by Skoob1999
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Tuesday, 13 October 2009

image for Cameron Speaks Out On Mudguards
Same Day - Same Insubstantial Brainless Self Serving Shit

Prospective Prime Minister, David Cameron, today exhibited the fact that he really does have his finger on the pulse of the nation by announcing that if elected, he would give serious consideration to the compulsory use of mudguards on bicycles.

"Let me be perfectly clear on this," he told us, at a school bicycle shed somewhere in Stockport. "We're living in the twenty-first century, and the days of getting mud up your back whilst cycling because you don't have mudguards on your bike...those days should be consigned to the dustbin of history."

Getting all aerated and impassioned, by holding his breath until he got red in the face, the Conservative party leader blustered:

"We bring you the issues that matter! Too many of our noble citizens end up with mud-streaked backs because they refuse to use mudguards on their bikes.

"Way back in the 1980's, Norman Tebbit advised people to get on their bikes to find work. But he never advised anybody to undertake the exercise without mudguards. That was sage advice."

One onlooker, Mick McWhack from Liverpool, told us:

"It's true that he advised people to get on their bikes. But when they rode their bloody bikes to where they were going to, there was nothing there. Even if you were a bloody Lloyd's name, there was still nothing there."

Norman Tebbit is currently playing Mr Burns out of the Simpsons at the Fantasy Island Theatre on Drury Lane.

The prick.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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