Gorbals of Glasgow - (Rotters): "Because we'd expect a lynching, that's why!" was Falkirk Police's response to requests for the release of forensic results comparing Prime Monster Gorgon Brown's DNA with Gerry McCann's.
The story snowballed after Royal Freak Hospital surgeons found identical retinal glitches in Brown's 'good' eye corresponding to little Madeleine's corneal birth marks.
McCann, 69, lost no time recruiting topnotch UK politicians like Tony Blair and Gorgon Brown when his daughter went missing from an Algarve holiday resort in 2007.
Many people found this startling and unprecedented.
Brown's other natural son, a.k.a. Prince William, bears an identical scrotal birthmark to the Prime Monster.
Few have seen this, apart from the rough trade from St John's Wood Baracks Obama that William has been shaggging.