Written by Frank Miller
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Friday, 2 October 2009

image for Party leaders challenged to mass debate on live TV
Don't look at me, I'm not that kind of cock!

The Leaders of the big three political parties have been challenged to a series of live televised mass debates by the UK news media.

The BBC News, ITN and BeSkyBiscuits interrupted programmes every thirty seconds with the challenge.

BBC News Nazi Dave Morrison gave us the details, "It's very simple, who ever can masturbate the longest, has the hardest cock and piss the furthest will win."

Bookie Chester Mann gave us the following run down on the contestants.

David Cameron's Evil Twin
"He's already demonstrated his prowess in the pissing department but can he hold out in a sustained finger bashing?"

Gordon Brown: The Masked Putty
"Not very stiff due to his body being made from a type of goo that melts in sunlight but may take some type of prescription drug to firm up. He has pissed himself in the past but since it was in his pants, the max distance is unknown."

Nick Clegg from 'Last of the summer wine'
"Not expected to make much impact with pissing or masturbating but will easily win on stiffness since he died 6 years ago. It was Clegg who died wasn't it?"

Political correspondent Jip Kidney, "As pressure mounts on Gordon Brown to re-establish himself as Emperor of Labour and Cameron's evil twin 80 percent ahead in popularity polls, this promises to be an all out fight to the death!"

Following the broadcast, the debates will be released on DVD complete with multiple camera angles and full audio commentaries of the participants.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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