Written by David Swinstead
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Thursday, 4 April 2002

image for Flying Pig Spotted In Durham

No less than 78 people spotted a flying pig in Durham yesterday. The event occurred at around 1:30pm and said pig continued to soar about for approximately an hour, much to the amazement of the crowd that gathered in awe.

Credit, or blame as some might say, has been given to Professor Charles Vacanti, famous for implanting an engineered human ear on the back of a mouse in 1995.

When asked about the event Vacanti said "Although it is true that we are now concentrating our efforts on implanting engineered wings on a pig, none of our tests so far have been successful. A specimen did escape yesterday, but I assure you that the event witnessed by people was nothing more than a ball that somebody had thrown very hard, and was filled with helium, and was painted to look like a pig, and had robotic parts installed to give it realistic pig-style movements, and had a tape recorder inside it which was emitting the oink noises, and mechanisms to make it poop on people's heads, and something inside it that gave off the pig smell."

The spotting is now being followed by multiple reports of flying ants, aardvarks, apes and armadillos. Dr. Vacanti is laughing off these further sights as nothing to do with his research, and is quoted as saying "Elephants with wings? And pigs might fly!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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