Written by Mark Mywords
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Topics: Sex, Roads

Monday, 7 September 2009

image for Residents Angered By Increase In Road Humps And Cameras
"A road hump? Yes, we can slip one in for you."

Residents of a Devon suburb are becoming increasingly concerned at the number of road humps and cameras appearing in their neighbourhood, claiming that their presence are in fact CREATING significant hazards for both motorists as well as pedestrians.

"It's getting out of hand," said Mrs Penny Foryer-Thorts, a long-standing resident of the picturesque suburb of Clyts St Wilde. "Only yesterday, my husband was out walking the dog when he saw a road hump, which caused him to walk into a lamp post and fracture his nose in three places."

The blame for the increased road hump activity is being placed squarely on the shoulders of Devon County Council, who have granted adult film-production company 'Max Head Productions' a licence to film a number of X-RATED outdoor scenes for their next movie.

"It's all hump and cameras," said a disgusted Mrs Foryer-Thorts, who had just emerged from the local baker's, bags overflowing with bread rolls for this weekend's Clyts St Wilde village fete. Indeed, as we spoke, she sighed as another impromptu road hump began on a Zebra crossing, as filming began on another scene, involving a male actor who bore a remarkable resemblance to Richard Hammond-Organ and two scantily-clad women. As we watched, ageing local priest Father Thyme lost total control of his bike and mounted the kerb, before ramming his head through the plate-glass window of the local Chemist's shop. As filming stopped for a moment, one of the camera crew turned to Mrs Foryer-Thorts and shouted, "Here, love. Any chance of getting your baps out?"

Fortunately for residents like Mrs Foryer-Thorts, the humping should be over soon. A spokesperson for Max Head Productions confirmed that filming was nearly over, and that the new series of "Road Whores UK" would be coming out on Sky 3 in early October.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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