Written by Mark Mywords
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 7 September 2009

image for Jordan Floored In Gipsy Boxer Attack
"Are you feeling lucky? No? Well you should have bought some f**king heather!!"

A terrified Jordan (real name Katie 'Cut' Price) was floored during an attack by a Gipsy boxer last night.

And friends say that it was Alex Reid, the cage-fighting boyfriend of the 31 year old glamour girl and sometime flotation device, who was entirely to blame for an incident which now threatens to leave her career in tatters.

The incident happened at the couple's home yesterday evening. "At around 5pm," said a pal, "they heard a knock at the door. Alex went to open it, to be confronted by an elderly gipsy woman with a Rumanian accent, carrying a bunch of lucky heather and a basket full of clothes pegs."

It was apparently as Reid was reaching in his trouser pocket for his knuckleduster that he first became aware that the woman had a fairly old, mange-ridden dog, a Boxer going by the name of 'Hermann'. Suddenly, without warning, the dog ran past Reid, up the stairs and into the bedroom, where Jordan was apparently just starting to apply a second coat of Mr Sheen to her globes.

"The dog leapt up and just sank its teeth into her Brad Pitts," said a pal. "It was awful. The f**king dog just wouldn't give up. There was silicon everywhere; it looked like an explosion in a balloon factory! Alex eventually managed to pull the dog off, which seemed to please it no end. After he'd done that, he twatted the mutt several times with the can of 'Mr Sheen'."

"Alex felt a right tit! Then he felt a left one. They were both on the bedroom floor, chewed to buggery and covered in five pints of dog drool."

According to reports, the flea-ridden, sad old dog is still in a state of shock, although expected to make a full recovery. Hermann is also believed to be responding to treatment.

Make Mark Mywords's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 1?

9 4 21 11

Go to top