Written by IainB
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Topics: School, Exams, GCSE

Sunday, 30 August 2009

image for World Record GCSE count broken
Students on their way to A* success

With the GCSE results now out, one student has broken the world record for the number of GCSE A* passes since records began (about 1952).

Phillipa Phillips (Pip Pip to her friends), studied for the by now traditional fifteen GCSEs, but in addition, took another twenty-five GCSEs that she had not studied for at all. Such was the demanding schedule that she had to sit three exams at once during the examination period.

"I thought I might struggle with that one," Phillipa admitted, "After all it was French, Biology and General Studies, so I thought it might tax me, but apart from not really knowing how to conjugate a French verb, I found it quite simple."

Phillipa now has forty GCSEs at A* level or higher, beating last year's world record breaker, Malcolm Talcum, by three.

"It was the woodwork one that surprised me," she admitted. "I didn't have time to make anything, so I sent them a stick from the garden."

Examination board chiefs were quick to downplay Phillipa's achievements as evidence that the GCSEs are getting easier with each year.

"Miss Phillips is obviously an exceptional student, and the vast majority of students only got fifteen A*s," Tony Baloney, Chief Examination Officer, told reporters.

Both Oxford and Cambridge turned Miss Phillips down for entry into their prestigious halls.

"She spelled her name incorrectly on the entrance form," said Donald McDonald, head of admissions at Cambridge.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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