Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 3 August 2009

image for National Black Police Association Announces First White Candidate For National Chairman
A black and white issue?

There was uproar in Africa this afternoon when, ahead of the National Black Police Association 2009 Annual General Meeting, it was announced that the first white candidate was to stand for election as the organisation's National Chairman.

The AGM on 19 October is set to open with a discussion over the validity of a White Chairman for such an openly black organisation, and will hear from a number of speakers, both for and against the election of a Honky as leader of the NBPA.

The NBPA is no stranger to controversy. In 2008, it came under fire from The Times Online for allegedly being "a racist body", an allegation it strenuously denied.

Formed in 1994, the NBPA "seeks to improve the working environment of Black staff by protecting the rights of those employed within the Police Service and to enhance racial harmony and the quality of service to the Black community of the United Kingdom." (NBPA website).

Another somewhat-confusing message on the NBPA website reads:

"The definition of "Black" does not refer to skin colour.

The emphasis is on the common experience and determination of the people of African, African-Caribbean and Asian origin to oppose the effects of racism."

In other words, the experiences of Black People, right?

Now though, the Whiteys are fighting back. In a reversal of the much-spoken-about Black Struggle for Equal Rights, a white woman policeman, Officer Lily White, has received enough nominations from NBPA members to launch her leadership campaign at the October elction.

It's not known just how White managed to get nominations from black officers, but it may be relevant that she is a socialite, a reggae enthusiast and likes black cock.

White was a member of the National White Police Association until 2004 when it was deemed racist by the High Court, and she now agress that this was, indeed, a fair judgment by Lord Chief Justice Rastus Shadrach QC.

Opposition to the NBPA has grown over the last few years, as the scales seemed to have "tipped completely in the other direction" according to one dissenter from the South London force.

Police Sgt. Arthur Hitler told us:

"Next they'll be wanting a National Paki Police Association, and a Chinky one as well, I shouldn't wonder!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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