Written by Egg Man
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Topics: Gordon Brown

Saturday, 18 July 2009

image for It's Official - Gordon Brown's a Tosser
Has Gordon's hand slipped ?

After much speculation and rumour it can now be publicly announced that the British Prime Minister Gordon Brown is a Tosser.

A secret ballot held over the last month found 89% of MPs voted him a "Tosser" while 4% voted "A complete Tosser" the remaining 7% thought Brown "A dam good Fellow".

The last Prime Minister who held the title of Tosser was Edward Heath and before him Robert Peel. Robert Peel held the esteemed title the entire time he was at number 10 but returned the title on his demise.

The President of the United States Barack Obama has called Gordon Brown "A remarkable Tosser, a Tosser of great renown, a man who is very quickly forgettable and unremarkable"

It's been known for a long time by the general public in Britain that the title of Tosser was long over due, Brown is called "Tosser" wherever he goes, on a number of occasions the cry's of "You F…… Useless Tosser" has been heard from an admiring crowd. Brown usually responds with a smile, a wink and the famous Churchill two fingered gesture.

The origin of Tosser has been lost in the mists of time but it's thought that the first Tosser may well have been Nero who famously Tossed while Rome burnt. Derek Rowe who turned down the Beatles has to be one of the biggest Tossers in recent history.

Gordon Brown will be presented with his Tosser certificate and ceremonial chain during the opening of parliament assuming he remembers to attend.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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