Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 11 July 2009

image for Jordan Breaks Down In TV Interview - Suffers Tear Duct Failure
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Uber breasted one time glamour model, reality TV contestant, reality TV show starlet, party girl, and alleged slapper, Jordan, sensationally broke down in a British Network TV exclusive interview with former newspaper editor (fired for being a twat and making a gross error of judgement) Piers Morgan.

Who asked her whether or not she was a slapper.

The breakdown occurred as the big-titted, bony arsed, Brit plastic surgery equivalent bizarro of Michael Jackson described a 'very traumatic incident.'

Jordan became emotional, her voice cracked and she wiped away tears - which weren't there!

In one of the worst recorded moments of sorrow in TV history, Jordan wiped away non-existent tears, which would have smudged her trowel-applied make-up, before announcing that she was over Pete and on the market. She then proceeded to hike her top up to show the stunned interviewer her gigantic bra.

We consulted the big-titted slapper's personal surgeon, Dr Hugo C Hackensack, a quack doctor from Hoboken, New Jersey, who told us:

"You Limeys got this all wrong. The kid was emotional. She really was crying. She was suffering from an acute tear duct failure. We've been treating her for the condition for months with a drug called NOREMORSE. And just in case you were wondering, she hasn't screwed anybody since she split with Pete. Although I can't comment over whether or not somebody, or bodies has screwed her."

Fascinating.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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