Written by Earl Grey
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Topics: Jimmy Saville

Monday, 6 July 2009

image for Jim Never Fixed It
Jimmy Saville

Allegations were made earlier today that Jimmy Saville, AKA Jim'll Fix It, failed to actually fix it. Indeed, rather than fix it the old fool spent his time trying to blagg free ice cream.

Monte Lynch said "I wrote to Jim asking him if I could score a fifty on my international debut. Instead I was run out by Mike Gatting. Jim never fixed it."

Him Tenman said "I asked to win Wimbledon. He just said 'Now then, now then, as it happens'. He promised me, then he let me down,"

Sir Booby Robson was also let down. "He insisted on ice cream, but I only had Worther's Originals. And he is even older than me."

Saville was unrepentant when tracked to his secret lair just outside Hull. Asked for a comment he replied "As it happens, gracious me, how's about that then."

Saville then stole some ice cream before heading to the airport.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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