Written by Jaggedone
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 1 July 2009

image for Becks and Rooney win the Nobel Prize for Literature, you know, like!
So proud Rooney, Nobel prize literature winner, can't keep his "Scouse" mouth shut, like, you know, errm!

To everybody's astonishment including literature professors at Oxford and Cambridge Universities, Becks and Roon have scooped this years Nobel Prize for world literature, you know, like!

They were given the prize for inventing a brand new language and Nobel are certain that this new version of pigeon English will conquer the world and set new literary standards, like, err, you know, like!

Most Pro-footy players are renowned for expressing themselves, you know, like, in the same language, like, but Becks and Roon are ambassadors, you know, err, in globally spreading the language, like.

Popularity in speaking the new language has spread like wildfire, you know, amongst the UK (mostly hoodied!) youth, like. They see Becks and Roon as their ambassadors, heroes and idols and now even GB schools have introduced the new pigeon English into the national curriculum, err, like, you know. They've even issued a new Pigeon English Dictionary, errr, like, well you know!

The prize of 5.000.000 Swedish Krone and a memorial cup will be given to Becks and Roon at a special ceremony, like, in Sweden, you know, by ex-Man Utd, err, like, super striker, you know, Andy Cole, err.

Becks and Roon worship Andy as he was a forerunner in spreading the language way back when and scoring a couple of goals.

Becks will spend his part of the prize helping impoverished kids, like, err, down in Ackney mate, you know, to learn the language, like, as most of them speak the new language with a heavy Cockney accent mate, and Becks hopes that they can master the new language soon in a "Posh" cockney accent just like im and Posh babe, you know, like!

As for Roon he will keep his part of the prize (tight Scouse bastard) because he feels it's a waste of fucking time trying to educate Scouse kids, man, like, you know, err, fuck off, like!

Make Jaggedone's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 3?

2 6 18 25

Go to top