London - (Rioters): UK Prime Monster Gorgon Brown has been moved to a secure, padded-wall facility following reports that mad-as-hell ABN Amro banker Huibert Boumeester has escaped from his high-tech Canary Wharf (B)lair, armed with a cache of loaded weapons.
Boumeester, 49, who has now been missing for three days, vanished along with a number of AK-47s which senior executives had been issued with following the Dutch bank's disastrous 2007 takeover by Royal Bank of Scotland.
RBS famously collapsed in 2008, dragging down its prestigeous royal banking subsidiary Cuntts & Co which collapsed under Queen Elizabeth's $20 billion Madfoff Ponzi scam losses.
London police have warned that Boumeester is armed and dangerous and possibly 'depressed' - in the same euphemistic way as 'God's Banker' Roberto Calvi back in June 1082.
Alistair Darling is on Largactil.