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Friday, 5 June 2009

image for Susan  Boyle elected to Blackburn Council in local elections
A client-safe Jock and Strap Pub pint

In what has turned out to be a shock result, 'Britain's Got Talent' finalist Susan Boyle has been elected to Blackburn Council in the recent local elections.

The two most surprising elements to this shock result have been that 1) Susan hadn't gone forward as a candidate, and 2) she was elected to the council of Blackburn Lancashire as opposed to Blackburn in West lothian where she has lived all her life. Or at least all of her life to date, as she is still alive.

Speaking about this, yet another success in her life after securing a £4 billion pound deal to record Albanian Goat Herder chants with the Cuban Philharmonic Orchestra, she said that as music is so much a part of her life, she was happy to take the role.

Her first task is to send 20 people out onto the streets of Blackburn to check if, as sung about in the Beatles song, "A Day in the Life", there are in fact 4,000 holes in Blackburn Lancashire.

She said she checked Blackburn West Lothian some 10 years ago, and the only hole she could find was the Jock and Strap Pub on Hedge Street, which she claimed was so rough that the bouncers outside continually used to throw punters back in to keep them off the streets.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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