Written by Glurta
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Topics: The Sun

Wednesday, 3 June 2009

image for I'm browned off, says Sun

The Solar Ombudsman, OfHot, has been fielding a string of complaints from the Sun following the UK's recent good weather.

The well-known star - a regular visitor to the rest of the world - claims to have been severely overworked by living up to his duties as a summer attraction.

Mr Sun, 4,500,000,000, claims the extra effort involved in trying to tan Britain's burgeoning waistlines has left him near to exhaustion and on the brink of a meltdown.

Speaking from his summer hideaway in the North of England, he told The Spoof: "I remember that, not too long ago, I'd show my face once in blue moon and everyone was healthy and happy. People were thinner and had less skin to go to work on.

"Now, the flesh quotient is 10 times what it was.

"As soon as I show my face, there are enormous women, pregnant with kebab babies, thrusting their bare guts and butt cracks in my direction."

"Those solar flares you read about? That's me spewing at the sight of so much pasty ladylard. I'm starting to think that the only way I can hope to do my job properly is by going supernova."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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