Written by Skoob1999
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Friday, 29 May 2009

image for Britain's Got Talent Susan Boyle Goes Missing
Su Bo's Bed - Unslept In...

Consternation in north-west London today as it was revealed that troubled Jockinese crooner Susan 'Hairy Angel' Boyle has gone missing ahead of tomorrow's final.

Boyle, 48 if she's a day has been facing a wave of negative publicity over the last few days was reported to be really feeling the pressure and anxious to get the whole ordeal over and done with.

It was said that Boyle's hotel bed had not been slept in and that she had been drinking heavily throughout yesterday. BGT officials refused to confirm or deny that Boyle had been moved to a different hotel from her fellow contestants following allegations of friction and artistic differences.

The nation was quick to take the 'never been kissed' spinster to its heart following her impressive audition, but have been equally quick to develop a dislike bordering on hatred for the diminutive Jockinese crooner, who many consider to be getting too big for her boots.

A BGT spokesman told us:

"Susan has been feeling the pressure lately, there's no denying it. We can only hope that she's taken herself off somewhere quiet to gather her thoughts and compose herself in the run up to the biggest day of her life. We guess this is what's happened. I mean, she's hardly likely to be off shagging Brad Pitt is she?"

Quite.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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