Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Miracle, Pandemic

Wednesday, 27 May 2009

image for Miracle Hay Fever Cure Imminent
"Oh Be Dothe!"

A team of British researchers at the Institute Of Hay Fever Studies has announced that a miracle cure for the debilitating condition is imminent, and hope to have their new product on the market in time for next year's hay fever season.

Chief Researcher, Johnny Stride, a former blacksmith from Harrogate told us that the product was almost ready to rock and roll, with just a few minor teething problems to be sorted out.

The device, about the size of a small torch, works by shining a super heated light beam up the nostrils and is said to alleviate hay fever symptoms instantly, whereas previously, expensive antihistamine tablets have been the usual course of treatment.

There have been problems however, but the team are confident that these can be ironed out.

"We probably need to reduce the light beam intensity a little," Stride told us. "As it stands, the beam frazzles the nasal membranes, bursts capillary blood vessels, and gives the user two beautiful black eyes. Oh, and temporary blindness which lasts anything up to four hours. But we're getting there."

Hay Fever is not contageous or life threatening, but nobody wants to stand in a confined space while somebody sneezes snot all over them.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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