Written by matwil
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Topics: Scotland

Sunday, 24 May 2009

image for Loud noise as John Knox turns in his grave
'Whatever you do, keep away from bent shots'

In the capital city of Scotland, Edinburgh, there was a loud noise today, as Protestant preacher and Reformation leader John Knox's body turned in its unadorned grave.

This followed the appointment of homosexual Scott Rennie as a minister in the Kirk in Aberdeen, a city probably more Protestant and intolerant of such iffiness than even Edinburgh.

'Ah cannae believe it', said Aberdonian Elspeth MacLean, 'a quine onna loon shud be togother, ye ken, nae twa loons or quines', which baffled all attempts at translation, but it was guessed that most people in Aberdeen believed that homosexuality was unnatural and perverted. And that a Scottish Protestant church should never allow such people into their 'fold'.'

And at the General Assembly of Scotland in Edinburgh, some Protestant protesters held up signs with slogans like 'No To Perverts', and 'All Homos Are Child-Abusers', which had the silent agreement of most of that city's population, and indeed of most of the world's.

The question 'Would you leave your 5 year-old son in the care of a homosexual man' needed no answer in the city of hellstone and brimfire. The question of whether a religion of 'Protestantism', that by it's own definition cares nothing about ministers or priests, or what anyone does in their private lives, should even care about such sad perverts needs no answer either.

Pope Benedict was having tea with lots of little boys today. Again.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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