Written by Skoob1999
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Thursday, 21 May 2009

image for 18 Stone (252lb) Hooker Causes Apartment Block Collapse
I Knew This Would Happen! Squawk!

Berlin - As police search the rubble of a collapsed fifteen storey apartment block here in Berlin tonight, shocked residents insisted that they'd been warning of the impending disaster for months.

"It was the fat prostitute on the fifth floor," one resident told us. "She must weigh 120 kilos, and when she entertains her clients, the whole building shakes. It's like there's an earthquake going on."

Other residents appeared to confirm the story, complaining that in the past pictures had been shaken off walls, glasses had tumbled from shelves, refrigerator and cupboard doors had burst open, cracks had appeared in walls and terrified domestic pets had fled the building.

"I had a parrot," one resident told us. "He never used to stop talking, but since we moved into this building he won't say a word. He just sits there on his perch fretting and looking up at the ceiling. When she has a client in, he tucks his head underneath his wing."

We managed to speak to the lady of the night, who told us that her latest client was quite a big fellow, and that their combined exertions were a little bit energetic.

"But I never thought it would go zis far," she said tearfully. "I was only doing my job to ze best of my ability."

More when we've shaken the dust off.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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