Written by Everyman
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Topics: MPs, Expenses

Sunday, 17 May 2009

image for MPs to lose  whore allowance
MPs' expenses laid bare

MPs are to lose the right to claim back any money they have spent on prostitutes whilst working away from home. The right to claim back such expenses, the so called "second hoe allowance", is available for any MP who lives more than a couple of miles from the Houses of Parliament.

Problems have arisen in that MPs have been able to "flip" their partners and prostitutes and therefore some have been claiming for having sex with their own wives. "I get flipped several times a week" said one prostitute to this website.But it's good money"

An MP who has claimed this allowance told us: "I have done nothing wrong. The fees office allows this expenditure and so I claimed it. I do not have sex that often with my wife because I am away from home so often, so actually I believe my dalliances with my call girl are perfectly reasonable. She charges the going rate - and even though some of my demands are particularly filthy, her fees remain modest."

The public are, as it can be expected, outraged. One voter in Rotherham summed up the mood: "I never get to have sex with my wife and we live together all the year round. Politicians should have to pay for it like the rest of us."

The Speaker was reported to have said that he believes that the issue had been blown out of proportion - although he conceded that this did cost extra.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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