Written by Lightning Conductor
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Saturday, 16 May 2009

image for Puritans spotted off Plymouth Hoe
Puritan Naval Ship HMS Chastity docks at Devonport, HMS Modesty & HMS Thumbscrew are due to arrive in the morning.

The Puritans have decided to return to investigate the corrupt workings of Parliament bringing their beloved star chamber with them.

Brother Jeremiah speaking to us from just off the Devon Coast on his Blackberry announced in no uncertain terms that "they'd felt it necessary to return from the New World to sort out the Old one"!

Margaret Beckett is high on their hit list & faces the ducking chair along with Jacqui Smith, Harriet Harman & Yvette Cooper.

Brother Toby, Head Inquisitor & Director of Public Relations told us that he "was looking to lead a successful witch hunt & would burn the Coven leader Patricia Hewitt at the stake in Parliament Square".

The Puritans have decided to exempt Anne Widdicombe as she seems "a gentle old maid dedicated to the Lords work & their kind of woman"!

This "Brown & His Darling Alistair", are they Homosexuals? enquired brother Rufus sinisterly ! They can run but they cannot hide, for the arm of the Puritan inquisition is long & its vengeance total !

Mr.Brown was unavailable for comment as he was with Mr.Milliband test driving several nice shiny new Lear Jets.

Brother Rufus was disappointed not to have met Mr.Brown & was heard muttering "methinks this Brown doth spendeth too much" as he departed the St.Stephen's entrance of the House of Commons.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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