Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 11 May 2009

image for Trashley Cole In New 'Roasting' Scandal
Do You Know Who I Am?

The world's most loathed footballer, Trashley Cole, has been named in amazing new 'roasting' revelations by a former friend, I can exclusively reveal.

Cole, who is even loathed by Chelsea fans, sparked the latest controversy at a time when wife, Cheryl was away annoying the public with her appearances with 'screech' group Girls Aloud in a non-stop extravaganza of out of tune caterwauling alongside Sarah Harding and company.

The former friend takes up the story:

"Chezza was away screeching with the girls, so Trashley decided to throw a dinner party for some close friends. The menu was supposed to include roast chicken, but it wasn't cooked. It was pale, and parts of it were still frozen. You could clearly see the ice crystals on it. When the wife and I complained, Trashley became belligerent and totally lost the plot."

Trashley Cole apparently squared up to his former friend, eyeball to eyeball, demanding to know if the former friend knew who he was. When a female guest intervened, trying to make peace, an irate Cole put his hand on her face and pushed her rudely aside, before pointing pointlessly at his back with both thumbs because he didn't actually have his squad number on the back of his dinner jacket.

At which point the dinner party acrimoniously broke up.

The former friend told us:

"The wife and I won't be going to Trashley's again. As far as I'm concerned he can kiss my arse. In future we'll be going to that other Chelsea player's house parties where you just do loads of drugs and fuck different women all night."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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