Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: swine flu

Thursday, 30 April 2009

image for British Swine Flu Girl Thanked By Schoolfriends
Schools - they're great, aren't they?

The British schoolgirl who, earlier this week, was diagnosed as having the Swine Flu virus, has been receiving cards and messages of thanks from many of her schoolfriends, who are glad of the extra time off from lessons that her illness has afforded them.

The 12-year-old girl, who cannot be named due to potential "porker" jokes, contracted Swine Flu whilst on holiday in Mexico, but doctors say she is recovering well at home watching the telly. Her school, the Wigan Technical College and Pie Eatery, has been shut until 11 May, something other students say is:

"fantastic news!"

One pupil at the school, who was pleased, was Norman 'Gripper' Stebson, who said:

"Triffick. I 'ate school! Wotchoo lookin at?"

Another, Billy Twagg, laughed:

"I don't go anyway. It's shite!"

Many children at the school, however, are upset at the disruption to their studies the outbreak of Swine Flu has caused. Julie Fadge, 15, told us:

"It's terribly inconvenient. I was going to ask Bobby Bigcock out on Monday - now this!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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