Written by Earl Grey
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Monday, 13 April 2009

image for Sir David Attenborough A "Complete Hypocrite"
Sir David's New Program

The legendary broadcaster Sir David Attenborough is today outed as a complete and utter hypocrite. After decades making a living showing animals humping he has announced that he wants to control the number of times humans shag.

"The population is too high. We need to take control. We will put something in your tea and take the urge away" said Sir David. Funny, previously when a randy lion wanted it the veteran broadcaster just ordered the cameras in.

Members of the public were quick to condemn Sir David. John Cole of Nova Mews said "What?!! Limit my sexual activity. No fucking way. If I want to do it like they do on the Discovery channel then I will."

Such a control of human reproductivity would make an interesting science fiction film. Sir Richard Attenborough is already thought to have entered negotiations to write the screen play.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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