Written by The Blunt Pencil
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Topics: University

Wednesday, 8 April 2009

image for Fake University Degrees Abound On The Internet:  MP's In Emergency Debate!
Dr Butrus Butrus Mugabe - Has more qualifications in the post!

Anyone using a PC these days cannot help but notice the huge amount of spam emails offering everything from replica Rolex watches to Viagra! However, the government children's secretary Sir Ed Balls MP. M.Pharm. LL.B. BVS.c. has highlighted a worrying trend in fake university degrees being offered for sale on the net. He has warned parliament that people acquiring these worthless academic certificates could find their way into senior positions in business and even politics!

We decided to go straight to the top and asked the British Prime Minister Prof. Gordon Brown MP. BA, BSc, Mech.E . if he was aware of this dangerous trend., however he was only able to talk to us via a video-link due to him having to be in the USA at the Chicken Shit University in Arkansas receiving a Phd. In Cowboy Studies. Prof. Brown MP BA, BSc, Mech.E . and now Cowboy Dip. said, "this situation could get out of control. As soon as I return I shall set up an inquiry into this and appoint my Home Secretary Dr Jacqui Smith MP. Phd. MA -Doctor of Philosophy - to sort it out".

Labour left wing stalwort and former Derbyshire miner Prof. Dennis Skinner MP. MSc. M.Eng. Nucl.E has voiced his concern in recent weeks, we caught up with him whilst walking his dog Fido BPhil. DSc. on his local village green, "I'm not at all happy about this situation" said Prof. Skinner, "I can assure the British public that as soon as I've bought a couple of PhD's for my missus and the grandkids, we shall have this loop-hole closed".

No one was available for comment at the Palace of Westminster today, the commons tea-lady Nora Biscuit BSc. Told us, "Oohh they are all such a clever bunch of people here, that nice Professor Straw, Justice Secretary and Rocket Scientist has promised to buy my nephew a PhD in snowboarding for his birthday, so I always give him an extra Jaffa Cake".

The Conservative Party were unable to comment on this story as they were all away at the University Of Zimbabwe collecting Honorary Degrees in Humanitarian Studies from Dr Butrus Butrus Mugabe BA, BFA, LL.B, BSc or ScB or BS or SB, BASc, BPhil, BBus, BSBA, BPE, B.Math, BSW, BVSc, B.Eng, BBA, B.Tech

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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