Written by Michael Simmonite
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Monday, 4 March 2002

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Claudia - failed.

Pretty regional swimming champion Claudia Bartlett was so close to reaching her ambitious target of swimming 20 kilometres, but had to stop just fifty agonising metres from the end of the marathon record attempt.

The tearful twenty-two year-old blonde beauty had to be helped out of the olympic-sized Pond's Forge swimming pool in Sheffield, when exhaustion forced her to abort her record charity attempt.

One of the adjudicators, Sid Bingle told us: "It was heartbreaking to see her suffer in this way. But the rules clearly said that 400 lengths of the pool had to be completed. Unfortunately for Claudia, she only managed 399.

"Claudia is a lovely girl, and I'd dearly love to slip her a length, but it's more than my job's worth, you must understand."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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