Written by QuakAtak
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Topics: Violence, Gangs

Tuesday, 24 March 2009

image for War Hero Beaten by Teenage Gang

A war hero was in shock last night as he was beaten by a gang of hoodie clad teenagers in the UK's final of 'Antiques Roadshow - Name your price'. The one off charity special gave the contestants the chance to guess the value of the objects on display. Lord Poltimore, CEO of Sotheby's was on site to value the objects donated by the public and later auctioned them off.

Sgt Chris Whitaker, the last surviving serviceman from the Zulu War, who received a medal for his bravery and ability to win snakes and ladders blind folded, was beaten by Damien Jones, Lewis Lewis, and Greg Gardener. The trio, locally known as the 'Da Badman Massive, innit' by there friends and 'a nuisance' by one neighbour, successfully guessed £32,700 for a vase from the renaissance period.

'Yeah man, pretty simple really, the old geezer guessed way over the odds, init. He thought it had Lorenzo de' Medici on the front of it, but it was never, it was that Galileo Galilei fella. What a knob!' Lewis, Lewis, said of his victory, whilst Greg rolled a fat one.

Whitaker, distraught by this, couldn't believe how it had happened, 'These toerags have been burning up these streets on there damn scooters making a complete racket, and then learning Russian History behind the bike shed?! I demand a re-match, how about Snakes and Ladders?'

David Cameron praised the boys by saying 'they are an example of how our education system is of the finest caliber, they are an asset to there school, and these hoodies really deserve a hugging, best beating yet.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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