Written by Earl Grey
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Topics: Crime

Monday, 23 March 2009

image for Fishermen's Friends Forced To Cough Up
A Scared Group Of Mints

A gang of thieves have stolen over £100,000 worth of jewels from an elderly couple. The victims made their fortune making the 'popular' sweet known as 'Fishermen's Friend'. They are said to be 'choked' by the experience.

The gang forced their way into the couples mansion and held them hostage. The gang threatened to cause serious harm unless the items were handed over.

It is thought that this is the same gang who stole a mint from Murray recently, by threatening to make him hurry. Inspector Polo of the Serious Confectionary Crime Squad said "This is a very worrying development. We are not dealing with a one-off, they are a gang who may strike again. As we know very little at present we are going to have to suck it and see."

Tic Tac is said to be shaken by the recent developments, but Extra Strong Mint said "Bring it on!" Softmints are worried that they might be a target.

In court the gang will be placed in a cell. "Lockett" the judge will say.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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