Shocking news this weekend from our Royals: Harry has turned into some kind of yoof thug.
His drunken, stoned, sickening antics resembled those of a Premiership footballer. Harry should remember that he is a member of the Royal Family, and should in no circumstances be like that shower of over-paid under-worked national embarrassments.
News of the beer-fuelled drug shame shocked many in the country. Mainly because of the utter disrespect shown to the following:
PRINCE WILLIAM - Wills is understood to be sickened by Harry's failure to be more perfect, like him.
PRINCE CHARLES - Greatest parent ever, ashamed at failure of a son.
THE QUEEN - Her Majesty is particularly upset that her Jubilee Year celebrations could be disrupted by Harry's drug-dealer friends.
THE QUEEN MUM, GOD BLESS HER - Angry that Harry didn't OD, especially after suspicions were raised about the currency used in the drug deals.
PRINCESS DIANA - How dare he be her son!
And the question must be asked: what kind of behaviour is this by someone who our brave squaddies are looking up to as a role-model? They should in no way be hearing about Harry's activities, loutish antics worthy of the "lads" who embarrass this nation in Ibiza every year. A senior army officer has actually predicted tonight a 35' increase in US-style "friendly fire" bloopers as a result of
Harry-influenced under-the-influence sessions among the ranks.