Written by Danny Buckle
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Topics: Trains, Geek

Tuesday, 17 March 2009

The debate into banning train nerds from stations in order to peruse their hobbies is hotting up. Supreme train geek Pete Waterman responsible for a string a shite pop songs in the eighties said "This is diabolical, National Express are putting an end to a British tradition of nerdiness that we all know and love." He added "For God's sake don't let them ruin the rail industry like I ruined the music business"

Profit

I asked Pete where he thought the problem lay, he said "Look Danny I was in it for the money. I didn't give a damn about the long term damage I caused. The crap I turned out had a knock on effect that led to hip hop shite, if we're not careful National Express will continue to cut every bloody cost they can in order to maximise profit. Before we know it, the service will be knackered"

He certainly had a point Dastardly Dick Bowker appears to be treating the trains as long buses. What we need is a leader to take action to stop Dick before it was too late.

Hero

Jade Goody waded into the argument. I caught up with her at McDonalds. Still in her hospital bed and shovelling chips in her gob and wired up to a Vodka drip she said "Yeah we need a hero, someone to lead us just like Robin Hood riding Black Beauty into the charge of the Night Brigade at Waterloo" Inspiring words if some what inaccurate but you could see where she was coming from.

Is there anyone out there who can help save the rail industry from Dastardly Dick Bowker and the Vultures?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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