Written by Earl Grey
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Topics: Immigration, Protest

Friday, 13 March 2009

image for Protesters Storm Minister's Office. Nobody Recognises Him.
The group on their way to see Mr Woolley

Protesters stormed a government minister's constituency office today. Phil Woolley, the Minister for Detaining Foreign-Looking People was unharmed by the event. "I was just talking to one of my constituents about how I always appear on Panorama not knowing what I am talking about when they burst in".

The protesters are thought to have begun chanting "Who are you?" and "We've got the wrong office". Stuart Dent, the leader of the group said "We were actually hoping to stage a protest in a cabinet minister's office, because most people watching the news don't know who Woolley is. Those that do recognise him just say 'ah, it's that chap from Panorama, the one who doesn't know what he is talking about".

The protesters were from the Manchester Be Nice To Foreigners Society. They are thought to have been behind a custard pie attack on Woolley previously. Dent says that this was also a mistake. "We baked a pie for John Prescott but we went to the wrong office again."

Foreign people being held in the detention centers are hoping that border controls will be lifted. Such an idea has come under attack from the Union of Illegal Immigrants. A spokesperson said "At the moment we get paid cash in hand and don't pay any tax. They do this and the taxman is going to nail our arses good and proper."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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