Written by Earl Grey
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Topics: Amy Winehouse

Friday, 6 March 2009

image for Singer Faces Assault Charge
She is a heroine to some

One of the nations leading singing stars is facing an assault charge. Whiny Shithouse has been accused of assaulting Berkley's Balls last September.

It is yet another scandal in a far from trouble-free life for Shithouse. She is in the process of getting divorced from her estranged and strange husband, Blake Feeling-Uncivil. There have been allegations of drug taking. Feeling-Uncivil has been charged of being in possession of an offensive wife.

This latest charge concerns a charity function where Shithouse was to provide entertainment. She is accused of getting drunk and assaulting Mr Berkley, one of the organisers. She is alleged to have grabbed Mr Berkely by the penis and cried "Take the box." She then bit Mr Berkley's penis. Then she said "Fuck rehab".

Defending Ms Shithouse Mr William Slimy-Toad QC said that she was provoked and that she was realy rather sweet. The case continues.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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