Today the BBC announced that ITV was on the brink of financial meltdown. News presenters were told to forget about any other news story and just keep reminding viewers that ITV was going down the pan.
Head of BBC news, Billy Liar said "This is tragic news....for ITV and we are going to make as much noise as we can about it."
It is thought that a fall in advertising revenue has led to the problems. Also ITV are looking to sell its controlling stake in Fiends Reunited, the anti-social networking site. Its popularity has plummeted following the success of rival groups Fuckbook, MySpaz and Shitter.
Sadly ITV have assured us that there will be no affect on the quality of its programs. However it may lead to a scaling down of some of its shows. Expect to see very soon 'Who wants to be a (Zimbabwe dollar) millionaire?', 'Celebrity skating on thin ice', 'Loose woman',and "Coronation drive-way' as the station cuts its spending.
There are also fears that Fartbeat, the series based on sixties Yorkshire policing may be cut. Why has it taken a crisis to achieve this?