Written by Earl Grey
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Topics: Jade Goody

Thursday, 26 February 2009

image for Jade Goody To Divorce
Love Built On Sand Will Not Last

Yes, it's true. The news we all feared has arrived. Poor Jade Goody is set for a divorce. Close friends (?) said that Jade came home from a hospital appointment to find her husband in bed with Shilpa Shetty.

"It was too much for Jade to take." Claff Maxford, close friend and a publicist making 20% from her said "This was a big blow to Jade. I know she told him to find somebody else, but he could have waited a few weeks. And of all the people to go with! But it's a hell of a story"

The nation now waits to see just who will win the bidding for the exclusive story of Jade's sorrow. Hello are said to want rights to any divorce hearing. The Sun is to serialise the story of the marriage. Originally this was not going to be a minute by minute account, but...

Jade is expected to announce a further wedding as soon as the papers come through. At the moment the identity is a secret.

So who could it be?

3/1 Les Dennis. A former reality tv star who knows all about heartbreak.
5/1 David Tennant. TVs Dr Who could whisk her back in time.
10/1 Joe Kinnear. He isn't well either. And they speak the same language.
50/1 Ronnie Corbett. Little guy. Big heart.
100/1 Bill Oddie. Has been a Goody before.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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