Westminster - Rumblings in the corridors of power today following German MEP Ludwig Von Scheissenhauser's controversial address to the European Parliament yesterday when he stated that:
"Ze reason for ze economic downturn in Der Fatherland can, and should be attributed to an Anglo-Polish conspiracy. Ze Englishers are taking ze Poles und givink zem jobs and in so doing are denying Germany ze right to take advantage of cheap foreign labour. Zis situation cannot be tolerated. Und I will tell you this - if no satisfactory resolution can be reached, zen Germany vill haf no alternative ozzer zan to dust off ze doodlebugs and service ze tanks. You have been warned."
When asked to remark upon this extraordinary, nay, inflammatory statement, PM Gordon Brown was quick to reassure citizens of both the UK and Poland, saying:
"I have in my hand a piece of paper,"
Although he didn't expand on this statement.
Ed Balls, Minister For Silly Names said:
"It's the Swiss I feel sorry for, they've got the French to the left of them, Austrians to the right, the Germans above them and the Italians to the south. They also make stupid clocks with cuckoos that pop out every hour. How dumb is that? The poor bastards."
More as we get it.