Written by Skoob1999
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Friday, 13 February 2009

image for Supermarket Refuses To Sell Old Bloke Tobacco
Doing This Can Cost You Your Life And Your Liberty

A leading supermarket's decision to refuse a sale of tobacco to a sixty-seven year old man, who walks with the aid of a zimmer frame has sparked controversy on an international basis.

Jeffrey Fagg, 67, who can only walk with the assistance of a zimmer frame explained:

"I went into the store and asked for a 25 gram packet of Old Arseburn. Well, they asked for proof of age. They wanted to know if I was old enough to smoke, so as I had no papers to say so, I hoiked up a big brown oyster and gobbed it onto the counter.

"They weren't convinced, and this young girl on the till who's got hair extensions and slapper handle tattoos on her arse, who's chewing gum, she goes into a panic."

The aforementioned panic resulted in Security being called.

Mr Fagg, 67, was maced in the face, tasered, truncheoned, and generally taken the piss out of, all in front of his nine year old granddaughter.

Human Rights groups across the EU have expressed their outrage at Mr Fagg's treatment.

But the last word must be attributed to Mr Fagg's granddaughter, Rachel, who said:

"Wot a bunch of absolute cunts, doin' that to me grandad."

Mr Fagg has been released on bail.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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