Written by Steddyeddy
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Topics: TV

Monday, 9 February 2009

image for Woman complains there's nothing on her TV
Nothing on this telly either

A woman from Arbroath, Mrs Betty McStupid, has today complained to the BBC's Watchdog programme that there's nothing on her TV.

In a tersely written letter to the shows presenters, one of whom she thinks is a long-legged sexpot and the other a pleasant young woman called Julia, Mrs McStupid said that she was devestated to arrive home last evening and find that there was absolutely nothing on her television.

The Watchdog team responded quickly suggesting that if nothing could be found on the terrestrial stations, surely, if she had a satellite, freeview or cable box, she could find something somewhere, even if it was only the grunting and heaving of WWF, MTV or Trinny and Suzannah.

However, refusing to be daunted, as she claimed there is nothing worse than a daunted Mrs McStupid, she replied in a heavy Arbroath accent that it was nothing to do with programming.

"No" she said. "We had been out to the post box. We won £170,000 on the Lotto four weeks ago, and when I asked my husband about the begging letters, he said 'keep sending them out'.

"We came back home from posting letters to those nice relatives of the Nigerian Oil minister - he has hundreds of them who all want me to receive $25million on their behalf. Ever so nice and trusting.

"Anyway, as I was saying before I so rudely interrupted myself, we came home and there was nothing on the telly.

"There were definitely three framed photographs, one of those nodding red-beaked birds and a brass "hear-no, see-no, do-no" monkey ornament we bought in Turkey three years ago on the telly when we went out, but when we came home again yesterday, they were gone.

"So there was absolutely nothing on my telly at all."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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