Written by Jon Hollander
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Saturday, 7 February 2009

image for Government Praises Snow For Recession Distraction
Who needs a mortgage when you've got an igloo?!

Gordon Brown took time out of a Saturday morning Fifa '09 marathon today to publicly acknowledge the snow with regards to its work in making everyone forget about the recession.

"We wish to thank the recent extended spat of extreme weather for its immeasurable service to the country." Gordon Brown told a gathering of journalists outside Number 10 Downing Street. "The coming recession, coupled with the tits-up in Iraq would have people question democracy like never before, if not for the tireless and unrelenting work of concepts such as the recent snow in the South East."

A survey conducted on Wednesday by the government cynicism group Cyni-Watch stated that: "90% of people have forgotten the recession entirely, whilst over 50% of those remaining believe the economic spiral to be 'hogwash and bunkum propagated by fearmongers, fearmongerers and lefty pinkos'"

Brown did not stop at thanking the weather however, stating that he wished to publicly acknowledge a string of other concepts instrumental in the deflection of public thought from the government's shambles.

"In addition to the recent weather the government would also like to thank The Baby P saga, Those who responded hysterically to the Ross/Brand incident, President Barack Obama and the return of 'Gladiators' and 'Minder'."

Experts expect public cynics to return to normal levels at some point in the coming week depending on the weather conditions and whether or not Britney Spears gets her fanny out again or something.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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