Written by matwil
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Thursday, 5 February 2009

image for Londoners hit by a second Blitz - of snow
Londoners take cover during a snow attack

The city of London, hit by attacks from the air by the Luftwaffe in the 1940s, was hit again by an even more dangerous aerial enemy today - snowflakes.

'It was bleedin' awful', London red bus driver Mr Alfred Garnett said, 'we lived through the Jerries bombing us, and we even lived through the doodlebugs and V2 rockets raining terror down from the skies on us, but this snow is just too much. We 'ad to go into the Tube and take cover, let's just 'ope the all-clear goes off soon. Last week my neighbours' house was hit by snow, there were no survivors.'

And as London buses were all cancelled due to the bombardment, London Mayor Boris Johnson said: 'Look, it's not that I've had to come back from my endless holidays abroad to be here, it's that I've come back from the wrong sort of holiday.'

'There were working-class people sweeping the snow off the pavements in Switzerland, I mean! And everything worked perfectly there, trains, buses, trains, and, er, buses, while that white stuff was pouring endlessly down into my nose.'

The Government were considering evacuating thousands of Londoners due to the snow, but one, a Mrs. Eve N. Adamit, said: 'Is this the wartime spirit? Is this what made Britain great? You didn't see Scott of the Antarctic refusing to drive his bus to the South Pole because of a bit of snow. Or Ranulph Fiennes cancelling a trip to the Arctic Circle, because 'it's a bit parky out today.' I asks ya ...'

M.P.s in Parliament bravely and miraculously managed to keep working during the snow, as did 30 million other Britons north of Watford.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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