Written by Steddyeddy
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Thursday, 29 January 2009

image for Government to target web piracy and provide 22 million new jobs
Before the internet it was mast piracy

In a bold move, the government has today announced how it intends to combat web piracy and provide 22 million jobs to completely wipe out unemployment in Europe.

According to the Minister for Web Piracy, The Honourable Long John Ooharrjimlad, the government is going to employ an individual "Piracy Tsar" for every single street in Britain, although the bloody unions are complaining even before the recruiting has begun that the Tsar who gets the 2 mile long (4 miles taking into account up one side and down the other) Streatham High Road should at least receive a shoe allowance.

The Piracy Tsars will patrol their respective street every day, randomly checking on houses to see that computer users are not sitting at their consoles downloading copies of "Slumdog Millionaire", "The Wrestler" or "The Sound of Music", although anyone caught downloading the Spice Girls movie will be transported immediately to a sanatorium and have electrical equipment attached to various parts of their bodies.

The government have engaged hundreds of useless employment consultants to place their usual extremely expensive and incomprehensible advertisements in the job sections of all the nation's newspapers next week, although it is debatable whether the Star and Sun will be asked to carry these advertisements, as some of the job advertisements may not only include the word "work", but some other words used may have more than 4 letters, and applicants won't be allowed to text in an application, despite 170 characters pushing the limit of their overall capabilities.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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