Written by IainB
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Topics: Scouts, Robert Burns

Monday, 26 January 2009

image for Scouts mistakingly celebrate Burns Night
One Scout using two knives and a napkin

A series of mistakes has led to a number of scouts visiting A&E over the past twenty four hours.

The first mistake was believing that scouts celebrate Burns Night, when in fact it is Scots that celebrate this famous Scottish and completely illiterate sixteenth century poet.

The second mistake was not realising that the celebration was in aid of a poet, as the scouts in question went for their fire starter badges to watch things burn in the night.

There are a number of different fire starting badges available to scouts, and those that chose the more simple 'use a match' badge got off scot [sic] free, and wound up accidentally singing some Robbie Burns poetry in a rather drunken way.

Less luck came the way of the scouts who chose the more difficult discipline of starting a fire with spoons. Having watched the Ray Mears documentary on how to start a fire using common kitchen utensils, the scouts successfully set fire to their own clothing and wound up in the burns unit at Withenshaw hospital, where, in honour of the man who set up the ward, they recited Burns poetry.

The North West's chief scout, Arthur 'Clover' Garlic, said, "Aboon, it no be a t'riffic neet, areet."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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