Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Steven Gerrard

Monday, 29 December 2008

image for Steven Gerrard Still Banged Up
I've Done Nottin. Honest. Straight Up.

Southport, Merseyside - Liverpool FC captain and England international Steven Gerrard remains in police custody following allegations of assault following events in a Southport nightclub.

Contrary to earlier reports, it would appear that Gerrard was not in the company of fellow Scouser Joey Barton, much to the relief of Gerrard's legal team.

'Steven was categorically not with Joey Barton at the time of the alleged incident,' said spokesman Oozin Slyme. 'Further, I would like to point out that our client has a well established reputation as an affable and sensitive human being.

'Despite him being a Scouser.'

We asked a drunk bloke outside Southport Police Station what he thought would happen and he told us:

'We've got a plan. Don't you worry. Oh no. The UFO fleet sighted over Halesowen in the West Midlands are on their way here as we speak, to spring the Stevie G Man.'

Erm, alright then.

More as we get it.

Steven Gerrard has now been released.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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