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Friday, 26 December 2008

image for New Year's Honours list leaked
A misplaced OBE

A Buckingham palace spokesman was said to be livid that news of some of this year's New Year Honour recipients had leaked out. The spokesman was said to be especially incensed as he had intended selling it to the Sun himself tomorrow.

The list, full of OBEs (Other Buggers Efforts), MBEs (May Be Essential) and assorted new Lord and Lady honours, recognizes the true worth of many people who are generally too useless to be awarded anything else.

Some of the names appearing on the leaked list this year included:

  • Robert Mugabe for services to the bank-note printing industry
  • Simon Cowell for his contribution to his bank account
  • The Daily Mail for keeping the memory of Princess Diana alive and the wallets of the legal profession bulging
  • Furniture retailer DFS for helping the public save money with their special 52-week sale
  • George Bush for demonstrating that even people who have the IQ of a telegraph pole can get on in life
  • Prime Minister Gordon Brown was said to also be a little miffed, especially as the misplaced names weren't on a disk or hard drive and weren't lost by a government department. He said that it was the Government's responsibility to be careless with names and personal details, not the Royal Household's.

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