Written by ozworld
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Saturday, 6 December 2008

image for Gordon's Fruity Calender

Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay is set to cash in on his sexual escapades with the release of the Gordon Ramsay "Big Boy" Calender featuring twelve erotic shots of the culinary king doing inappropriate things with food.

"It'll be out before the new year" he says of the calender with January kicking off with a naked Ramsay resting his privates on a freshly made beef wellington.

"It starts off in a traditional way with me being featured with typical British dishes but gets saucier as the year progresses right up until December where I do something quite filthy with a banana and a half eaten toffee apple.

Ramsay denies he has any thoughts of leaving the food world behind him claiming he just wanted to find a fresh challenge and a new way to express himself.

"Like in the August shot where I'm bent over a baine-marie with a bunch of spring onions dangling from my bottom it just felt right at the time so we just went for it"

Gordon admits the shooting of the calender went off without a hitch although he said he was left with "a little soreness" after dropping his bits into a bowl of hot custard.

"We were kicking around a few ideas such as me shooting a potato across the room like those Thai girls do with ping pong balls when I saw the custard sitting there and just dropped 'em in and said cheese but unfortunately it was straight off the stove and caused some scalding"

The calender is set for release this Tuesday at no reputable stockist.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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