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Saturday, 22 November 2008

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Military 2 Step

John Seargeant has left the BBC show 'Strictly Cum Dancing' despite being the 'people's champion' and kept in the show by the votes of the proletariat.

Broken Promises

Following a visit from the Mitchell brothers, who pointed out to John the difficulties in dancing 'wiv a broken leg' and the possibility of a late night visit from 'Mr Baseball Bat', Seargeant has regrettably resigned from the show.

Despite his popularity, John Seargeant has been repeatedly bullied by the judges on the show, although this has been denied by the BBC.

Sleeping with the Fishes

'When Bruno Tonioli said, 'Seargeant should be sleeping with the fishes' he was referring to the new BBC reality show where contestants spend a night under the sea with the celebrity of their choice.'

The new show will air in the Spring with a provisional title of 'Celebrity Big Godfather'.

I Can't Dance

Meanwhile viewers who spent their last few bob voting for the 'people's champion' are up in arms.
Harvey 'Disco' Armitage said today 'Me an' our lass spent 2 years 'aving dancing lessons afore we got wed an' I'm not 'alf 'as good as that old kid -blokes aren't supposed to wiggle their 'ips anyway - 'e deserves to win it and I want my brass back.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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