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Sunday, 2 November 2008

image for 52 Stone Birmingham Man Causes Panic On Transatlantic Flight
Fat Blokes And Planes - Not An Ideal Combination

A Jumbo jet made a successful landing at Newark International Airport much to the relief of passengers and crew.

The flight from London Heathrow was plagued with problems from take off claimed shaken crew members due mainly to the fact that they were carrying a 52 stone passenger from Birmingham.

'He unbalanced the aircraft' claimed pilot Fred Barber. 'I don't want to apportion blame here but as early as take off from Heathrow the plane was slipping and sliding all over the place and I had to really maintain a solid grip on the joystick in order to keep us airborne. If you can imagine arm-wrestling Mike Tyson, that's what it was like..

'This continued all the way across the Atlantic, and was exacerbated when the passenger went to take a dump. The plane almost plummeted into freefall.

'I'm just relieved to have brought us down safely.'

The passenger, Mr Gorgon Gannet of Aston said: 'I didn't mean to cause any problems. But I did notice as I went for a dump that the plane's performance became somewhat erratic. I apologise unreservedly if I've caused problems to the crew or my fellow passengers.'

Gorgon Gannet was last spotted heading into a branch of Jock Donalds with a credit card.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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