Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Cats, RSPCA, Stourbridge

Thursday, 23 October 2008

image for Cats Abducted In West Midlands Town
MIIIAAAOWWWWW!!

Stourbridge in the West Midlands is shrouded in mystery tonight, after it emerged that many of the town's cats had gone missing over the last two months.

Forty-five cats have disappeared from the town's streets, all in mysterious circumstances, and rumours are rife that the felines are either being murdered or abducted by aliens.

Many of the disappearances seem to have centred around an area in Meriden Avenue, where local woman Julie Wootton lives. Her moggy, Norman, went missing recently.

Julie says that she woke up at around 6am one morning, when she became aware of "bright lights" outside her bedroom window, and a humming sound. She thought it was the next-door-neighbour's car, and went back to sleep.

But when she looked for Norman later, to give him his Whiskas and a saucer of milk, he was nowhere to be seen. Other neighbours said their cats had also gone AWOL, and the police were notified, and the RSPCA called in.

Worse was to follow, as Clive Froggatt, the RSPCA officer sent to investigate the mystery, also went missing, and hasn't been seen since he organised a midnight stake-out of the area to try to find out what was amiss.

Local people say there are many cat-haters in the area, but police have not ruled out alien intervention.

PC Ernie Cobbles of West Midlands Police, said:

"Them a straynge lot around here. Anythin moight've 'appened!"

45 cats Meriden Avenue Julie Wootton

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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