TheSpoof.com writer Monkey Woods is not the sort of person you'd associate with children, fun, love, enjoyment and Christmas but surprisingly the racist bastard has topped Santa's gift list this year with a board game he designed.
"I am amazed", said the mediocre part-time writer or below average intelligence, "my mother would be so proud - that's if I was born from a human mother of course."
The 'Monkey Woods Acronym Game' started life as an anagram game but because of the half-wits lower IQ, if evolved into an immensely popular and enjoyable habit that has been variously compared to heroin addiction and snorting coke from an elephants bottom.
Online gift site GimmeDaMoney.com puts the 'Monkey Woods Acronym Game' at top spot with the 'Hannah Montana Execution Doll' in second and 'Tickle Me Pee Wee' - based on an infamous incident involving Pee Wee Herman - in third place.
"Place ladle against cooker end. End never delays. Delays: events lost, all yoyos salvaged. Salvaged anteaters leave vegetables and grass environmentally damaged", Monkey Woods cryptically murmured.
"I expect to be rich beyond my wildest dreams by Christmas", he added, "or moderately wealthy - depending on the contract I signed with an 'X' mark. I'm illiterate, see. Mark Lowton will probably get all the royalties. Stupid spoof contract!"